Photographs of loved ones

Photographs can have such a powerful feeling when we look at them. 

Images of our loves ones that are no longer with us can make us smile, feel happy, sad, missing that person or even feel resentment. 

If we didn’t get as much time as we wanted with that individual or family member, and others did, how does that make us feel? 

Tonight I looked at a photo of my grandmother and my son, and was able to smile for the first time instead of tear up immediately. 

I lost my grandmother last year in August, and now that it’s been over six months, it feels like such a distant time. 

I miss her smile, the way she’d say my name, my son’s name, the way she’d talk about the weather or what time of year it finally was… I miss her stories and talking about her childhood and meeting my grandfather. 

My grandmother was one of my biggest cheerleaders, and support persons. She acknowledged the loss of our daughter Noelle, enjoyed as much as one can, looking at photographs of our daughter and our family. 

Our daughter’s middle name was named after her, Alberta. 

My grandmother will always hold a special place in my heart. 

Thankfully no feelings other than love, missing, and warm smiles when looking back at photographs. 

I miss all the memories we aren’t making together and that she won’t get to see my son grow up anymore. And I’m thankful for the time we did get to have together. 

Hopefully with more stories and photographs my son will be able to have and hold his own memories, and keep them into adulthood. 

Photographs are very special. However what happens to your heart when you look at photos of your child that is no longer alive? 

Do you feel warm feelings, love, sadness? Perhaps all of the above? 

After about a decade without our twins I’m able to look back on their photos and not cry. Although I’ll admit the entire month of December is hard for me. 

Many thoughts on my mind tonight and hopefully I can keep up with my blog so I can share them more regularly.