How Could This Happen?

About 9 years ago I was still healing from the loss of our identical twin daughters, after they died from Twin Twin Transfusion Syndrome. 

I turned to the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Community of support on Facebook. At the time that is all the support I had, as the in-person counselor wasn't helpful and only made my husband and I feel worse. 

I remember reaching out to several organizations that were available at the time for keepsakes. It was before Mother's Day that there was a new organization that was offering keepsakes in memory, even took money from loss parents, only to make an unfortunate announcement soon thereafter that there was a delay, and then basically ghosted everyone. People lost money, and were scammed out of keepsakes in memory of their children. My heart sank then and I felt so taken advantage of. 

Since then I've been very careful in who I reach out to, especially when sending in items in memory of my children. I worry the same thing has happened again and my heart feels like it has sank to the bottom of the ocean. It leaves me saying to myself, "How could this happen?". It feels like I'm losing my daughter Noelle all over again. My trust also feels shattered. I am having many feelings and what is sickening is I'm not alone in this, as it sounds several hundred are as well. 

I still have hope that something positive will come of this and don't want what I sent in memory of my Noelle, that is irreplaceable, to be gone forever.