Being patient. October 23rd, 2022.
Sharing this from Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support, Inc.
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When we are newly bereaved, often our loved ones see us in the pain and heartache of losing our babies and just want us to get better, feel better, go back to "normal", and re-engage with life again in the way we used to do. They often rush us through our grief because it is painful to see us in the depth of our sadness, and they ache for us to move on. But as bereaved parents, we know that we will never be the same after losing our baby. There is no "moving on". There is no rush to "get back to normal" because we know we that we have been irrevocably changed by deep love and devastating loss.
What we often need and want more than anything is patience from our loved ones: patience while we wade through our grief, patience as we take time to process our new reality and adjust to life without our babies, and patience as we become the people we need to be as we move into a life that is so vastly different than the one we had anticipated. It takes time to grieve, time to heal, time to understand how to be parents to a child we could not keep and cannot hold. We may disengage for a time, choose to stay back from family holidays and baby showers, and grieve and heal in a timeline different than what others would expect. And that is okay.
It is often uncomfortable and challenging to wait for us: but the effort to support us and love us through this tremendous loss is one of the ways we heal. Be patient with us; we are becoming.
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