How can you support others? May 7th, 2022.
How can you support others?
Would you want another person making their choices for your body?
Let’s create a hopeful future.
Originally written on my support page in memory of my identical twin daughters, Fruit Of The Womb Angels.
"In the past nine years I’ve been a part of the child loss community supporting others.
This is what I’ve learned.
Children lost due to miscarriage, abortion, still-birth, SIDS, those with a fatal or chromosomal diagnosis, children lost after birth or years later. These parents grieve.
Each person has had a different story to tell about their journey through loss.
To the parent who lost their child because their body almost died due to an ectopic pregnancy. I hear you and I support you.
To the parent who was a victim of rape, dearly wanted their child however had PTSD, and had an abortion. I hear you and I support you.
To the parent who wanted their child, but didn’t get the care they needed in a hospital, their baby was born early, alive, received no care, and died. I hear you and I support you.
To the parent who was expecting their child, however learned their child had a life threatening diagnosis or didn’t have what they needed to continue to survive past pregnancy, and decided to terminate the pregnancy. I hear you and I support you.
To the parent who was a victim of incest, and had an abortion. I hear you and I support you.
To the parent who had to have selective reduction while carrying multiples, it wasn’t an easy decision and was made because their life was at risk. I hear you and I support you.
To the parent who no longer wanted to store frozen embryos after having either a successful pregnancy or not, after IVF. And grieved the decision to say goodbye to their embryos. I hear you and I support you.
To the parent who was in labor for hours and then due to multiple circumstances, both child and parent were in trouble. It was decided beforehand if there was ever a problem that they wanted to be saved, and not the baby. That day happened and in a rush to the ER they decided they wanted to live, they almost didn’t make it. This parent had other children at home and didn’t want to leave them without a parent. I hear you and I support you.
To the parent who carried their terminal or extra chromosomal baby to term, only to say goodbye after birth, if that child made it to birth. I hear you and I support you.
These are examples of the true stories I have heard from those I’ve supported through the years.
These people deserve acknowledgment, and the choice to do whatever they choose for their body.
It’s not about you or your choice. These are not your shoes, these are theirs. Not your uterus, not your decision.
I’ve walked deep in the path of child loss for about 9.5 years now, before then I grieved an early loss too, however losing our twins was life altering. Losing our Trisomy 18 daughter 1.5 years ago, devastating.
I am thankful for the most part I’ve been able to make the choices best for me given the information I had at the time. I’ve learned from them and it’s helped me grow. My choices, not anyone else.
I continue to support those who’ve experienced loss in multiple areas, embryo loss, pregnancy loss, infant and child loss. I feel like this is one thing I’m called to do, support others.
How can you support those around you?"
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