Thoughts of an Angel Mommy, Chapter Three

I made this graphic today because there are so many unknowns into the future, the uncertainty of it all with the possibility of another round of IVF. After a decade here I am considering the possibilities and I can't help but feel like time is not on my side. Much has changed in the last ten years, fortunately hope still remains. After the Kansas City Infertility, Family Building Conference, last Saturday, I feel like I have renewed hope. I spent the day in Kansas learning about multiple avenues families have taken to have their family. The moments of sorrow, devastation, as well as moments of hope, joy and celebration. I asked plenty of questions throughout the day and feel like those attending received a glimpse into my life, the struggles, losses, complications along the way to having our last living rainbow child. I learned about the newer technologies for chromosomal and genetic testing, the rates of success with different procedures, and the rates of a successful pregnancy an...

It's been a day, I feel tired and still have a bit to take care of this next week for my trustee responsibilities. I am still honored that my grandmother chose me, I just never imagined the depth of what I was saying yes to a year ago and over a decade ago as well. My shoulders feel less heavy each day that more is taken care of.  

I used to volunteer more, what feels like long ago. Really it was at the beginning of the pandemic I discontinued because I thought I would be home a lot with a newborn and life was telling me, often, that I needed to focus more on myself and my health.  I haven’t been back to full time volunteering however have volunteered with my son's school several times this year.  It feels challenging, at times, to know exactly how best I can help. School volunteering is so new to me and I’m still trying to navigate everything.  I feel like my strengths are, leadership, secretarial, event planning, event management, advertising and promoting, making graphics and flyers for events, social media, helping run meetings, photography, communication skills, listening, organizing, and thinking outside the box.  I also enjoy volunteering my time, and helping out with school functions.  Now do I feel like I’ve been utilizing my skill set this past year? No, not fully. Mostly because...

Photographs can have such a powerful feeling when we look at them.  Images of our loves ones that are no longer with us can make us smile, feel happy, sad, missing that person or even feel resentment.  If we didn’t get as much time as we wanted with that individual or family member, and others did, how does that make us feel?  Tonight I looked at a photo of my grandmother and my son, and was able to smile for the first time instead of tear up immediately.  I lost my grandmother last year in August, and now that it’s been over six months, it feels like such a distant time.  I miss her smile, the way she’d say my name, my son’s name, the way she’d talk about the weather or what time of year it finally was… I miss her stories and talking about her childhood and meeting my grandfather.  My grandmother was one of my biggest cheerleaders, and support persons. She acknowledged the loss of our daughter Noelle, enjoyed as much as one can, looking at photographs of o...

Years ago when I began the first blog in memory of our identical twin daughters, Apple Marie and Banana Lee,  http://thoughtsofanangelmommyfotwa.blogspot.com/  I had giveaways, shared graphics in memory of babies gone too soon, and my thoughts as an angel mom.  https://www.facebook.com/FruitOfTheWombTttsAngels Then I had my son, our rainbow baby, and I wasn't able to commit as much time to my blog and took some time off. I still was there for my Facebook page in memory, where I made graphics in memory, keepsakes, and gave support to those who would reach out, so it didn't feel like I was stepping away completely.  When we were suddenly expecting what would call our miracle baby, our Noelle, I began to write again later in the pregnancy, however I didn't want continue on the same blog I had written years ago, so that is when Chapter Two was born.  https://thoughtsofanangelmommy.blogspot.com/ I wrote through the struggles during pregnancy, eventually I wrote about...

Feeling like I can breathe. Great grief counseling session today. Was able to talk about my last week and the joys and new opportunities it brought thanks to Kansas City Infertility and my attending the Family Building Conference.  Adding older posts onto my blog so I can begin writing more. Started sharing on my third blog through the same profile. This next blog is Thoughts of an Angel Mommy, Chapter Three. 😊 I decided I should start something new because this definitely feels like another chapter is starting in my life and I’m looking forward to where it takes me, while holding onto hope. 🥰🙏💓

  My heart is so open, like it’s radiating love today. Still so grateful and thankful to  Kansas City Infertility  the Family Building Conference! Our future feels like it is just around the corner and waiting for us to get there. Here is holding onto hope. 

What an incredible day!  Thank you to  Kansas City Infertility  and to the speakers at the Family Building Conference.   This was the first family building conference I’ve been to in a long time, and I am so thankful I decided to attend. Today was an educational experience and very helpful in learning what is available currently for family building through IUI/IVF, and so much more. I had the opportunity to chat with a few of the speakers before the conference began and was excited to begin making some phone calls over the next few weeks to see about our family future. Once there was a break for lunch a few attendees were blessed with a free lunch, I was one of the lucky few and enjoyed my complementary veggie plate lunch from Hawaiian Bros. Then at the end of the conference there was a drawing for those who attended, and still remaining at the end of the conference. I was beyond words at that moment, however I’m excited to announce that I won a gift basket from...